Afternoonified Lady

The woman of too many thoughts and emotions

A letter to my daughter


My dearest Emma,

I am overjoyed and proud that you, at your young age, became so engaged and involved in this most recent election. You showed critical thinking in determining the values of our candidates, you asked interesting questions to help give you a solid baseline of facts, and I was especially impressed by your knowledge of both Susan B. Anthony and the history of women’s right Continue reading “A letter to my daughter”

Totally Fucking Grateful


A man who is filled to the brim with wit, sage advice, and has a fantastic, smarty-pants blog where he explains everything you’ve ever wanted to know about, nominated me for the ‘Sunshine Blogger Award.’ Makingsenseofcomplications, described me as being “very witty and amusingly pissed off,” which made me full of giddiness and laughter. He’s incredibly intelligent, and you need more science in your life… go read the fascinating posts on his blog. Right now. Seriously. Stop reading this and go read his blog.  Continue reading “Totally Fucking Grateful”

Dear Women, Stop being judgmental twats.


“How many of you have every felt personally victimized by Regina George?”

How many variations of Regina George have you known in your lifetime? A woman who gossips and rips other women apart for her own personal pleasure. Perhaps you have gone to school with her, worked with her, shared mutual friends with her, or maybe she is even part of your family. Continue reading “Dear Women, Stop being judgmental twats.”

Meet Cute


Has the age of the internet and online dating killed old-fashioned romance? How often are us single gals told by well-meaning family and friends, “You should really try to meet someone. What about online dating? It’s a good place to meet people!” What happened to meeting someone by chance, and having a love story that begins with this act of serendipity? What about the romance of the universe leading you to a specific person, with whom you fall in love? Is it that people are no longer patient enough to see what fate brings them? Are people too busy staring at their phones to notice the people around them? Has online dating taken over as the preferred method of meeting people, that those of us who prefer old fashioned meetings are doomed to be alone?

I understand that there are all sorts of great aspects to online dating, I really do. I have just never been a person whose intention it is to date. I’m not looking for endless dates, awkward dinners, or the hardship of building a connection with many men. Over the years, I have been in serious relationships (and married) to people whom I have either known for a long time, or whom I have met by chance. It’s my comfort zone, and I am terribly attached to it. I’m certainly not judging those who find that online dating works for them, I just wonder if those of us who are hold outs for meeting people the ‘old fashioned way’ are now at a disadvantage.

I had dinner with an ex-boyfriend last week, and we were discussing this subject. He had asked how things were with “P”, and while I was bemoaning the saga of my discontent with that situation, he suggested that maybe I start a Tinder account (and to my knowledge, isn’t this just a site for hookups?). I shot him a displeased look, to which he said, “Actually online dating doesn’t fit for you. You’re old fashioned. You need a ‘meet cute’ situation.” I’ll always love him for things like this: knowing me that well, and using the phrase ‘meet cute’ before I did. He went on to make some fun suggestions about where I should go to meet men: farmer’s markets and book stores. “Maybe you’ll fall in love in the ‘best sellers’ section of an independent book store,” he said. The truth is that it doesn’t matter the exact place where I meet someone, but just that I want to meet that person by chance; not because I am lonely and searching with intention to date.

So what do old-fashioned romantics do to find other like-minded people? I mean, other than write about it. Is there some sort of place we can meet up, where each person meets a potential partner through a series of adorable events? A pre-planned ‘meet cute’ situation. There’s gotta be a market for this sort of thing! Okay… off to the bookstore for me!

Life Lessons via ‘Frozen’


I’ve only caught pieces of ‘Frozen,’ as (thankfully) my daughter was just on the cusp of not being interested in Disney films when it was released. Sadly, I have heard (strangely) all of the ‘Frozen’ hits (ad nauseam). ‘Let it go’ and ‘Do you want to build a snowman’ have echoed in my home periodically, to my dismay Continue reading “Life Lessons via ‘Frozen’”

Guilty Pleasure: Telenovelas


It’s Labor Day weekend here in the U.S., and for some of us that means three days to binge watch a new telenovela. You didn’t read this incorrectly. I have a deep love for telenovelas pumping through my veins. I love every overacted, low budget, campy, dramatic, and unrealistic moment that the telenovela has to offer me (and fortunately there are thousands of hours of them on Netflix for my viewing pleasure).  Continue reading “Guilty Pleasure: Telenovelas”

I’m the Crazy Bitch Around Here


What is the deal with men calling women crazy? Unless we have burned down your house, physically held you hostage, publicly shared your secrets, or harmed you or a member of your family (or one of your friends or pets): WE AREN’T CRAZY! It seems to me that men are often quick to use this word (just like they call women ‘bitches’ and ‘whores’), because it’s an easy way to insult and hurt a woman. Other than making a woman more angry than they already are, I can’t imagine that being called ‘crazy’ has ever really upset a woman. What does that even mean, crazy?

I may only be speaking for myself here, but I’ve generally never been upset by being called ‘crazy’ or a ‘bitch.’ To me, I find that men don’t seem to grasp the art that accompanies a woman’s upset. We are not simple creatures who will show our upset by a fist fight. Instead, we will hold it in until we determine the best possible way to let someone know that we are upset or hurt. Does this make us crazy? Or does this just make us more patient, and masterful at finding ways to express our feelings?  I think that it is the latter: we are patient, intelligent, and methodical in how we plan to show our upset or hurt.

Could we for one moment call into question how we are driven to this, at times, by men? Guys, seriously, your behavior drives women to the depths of insanity. If you think you’re dealing with a crazy woman, I’ve gotta say that her behavior has been fostered by your own. Personally, I do not call people, cry, beg, yell, or just generally smother them; I do all of these things when I’m faced with losing the person whom I love. Does this make me crazy? Or does this make me open to expressing my emotions, as this is in fact something that women do (often)? Have I burned anyone’s house down (answer: no), have I ever held anyone physically hostage (answer: no), have I ever publicly shared anyone’s secrets (answer: I’ve thought about it, many times, and have chosen not to each time), have I ever harmed a member of someone’s family or their pet (answer: never). This isn’t to say that I haven’t had moments that I look back on and cringe, but never any moments of doing anything truly ‘crazy.’

Reflecting on the things I’ve done during my breakup with “P”, I see that each and every one of them was a response to his behavior, and while many of the things may be emotionally hurtful, they were all reactions to the behavior which he was showing me.

Off to buy some matches and duct tape….

A Cat Allergy?


We’ve all heard a ‘first date’ horror story; one where the evening doesn’t just not go as planned, but goes terribly wrong. Maybe these stories are filled with humor, maybe they are filled with humiliation, and maybe sometimes they have a happy ending. I have very few stories like this, until now. Settle in readers, because I have a ‘first date’ horror story for you.  Continue reading “A Cat Allergy?”

The Transition Guy


The transition guy: a man who a woman spends time with to help her transition out of a relationship, but whom she would never seriously date. Isn’t this just the perfect situation: a man who understands his place in your life, and the objective of what the two of you are doing. Perhaps a ‘crutch’ is the best way to begin moving forward, or at least figuring out what the hell it is that you want/are doing. If both people understand, and are in agreement, about what both of you are doing… isn’t a transitional person a good thing? Continue reading “The Transition Guy”

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