Navigating adult relationships: my biggest stumbling block. As I move through another breakup (with the same man I’ve shared multiple breakups with), I question whether love is enough; if it really is all that we need.
There is no more blissful feeling in the world than being in love, and being loved in return. It is my personal drug of choice; the euphoria that accompanies it is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. A life without love is a life that has not been lived.
Love is the single most subjective thing there is: no one feels it in quite the same way, no one defines it exactly the same, it changes as we grow older, it is experienced differently in the context of individual relationships, it is expressed differently, and we feel it with a different intensity with each person we love. I find that love is passion, compromise, respect, acceptance, and trust. The only one of these things that comes easily to me is passion, the rest require time and work (especially trust!).
I’ve always believed that a relationship that has been build on the foundation of love (keep in mind my definition of love) is a relationship that lasts. I’m beginning to find that this may not actually be true, and perhaps it’s naive of me, but it has shaken me to my core. Someone recently told me that relationships work because of logic and reason, and that emotion and love aren’t what makes things work – and, well, that makes sense. I wish that it didn’t make sense, as this seems to steal much of the joy from what I’ve felt is the bottom line for not how a relationship works and succeeds, but instead the reason that two people work to make it succeed: because they love each other.
So this leaves me curious… do relationships work because two people love each other and are willing to work at thing together? Or do relationships work because of logic and reason? What came first – the love or the logic?