What is your dating pattern? Do you go on countless dates, looking to find someone with whom you connect? Do you jump from relationship to relationship? Do you jump into sex with people, and try to make a relationship out of that? Perhaps you date within your social circle? Maybe you just wait until you meet someone you have a connection with, and grow a relationship from there? I wonder which of these patterns proves to be best when looking at successful long term relationships and marriages. Is there any one way that is really better than the others? Is the tone for a relationship set by how two people met and the crooked path they followed through dating?
My personal pattern for dating has been: dive into a relationship with a friend (or friend of a friend), break up, have more than my fair share of illicit sex in between relationships (and sometimes during these relationships too), and then get into a new relationship with a friend. I’m relationshipy! Up until my most recent relationship, I’d usually begin to get uncomfortable in the relationship around three years in, and the relationship would go south pretty soon there after. While I always had “good” and different reasons for ending a relationship (I had changed, long distance didn’t work, I was not in love with the other person, etc.), the pattern I followed each time was basically identical.
In a relationship with “P” my pattern was different: I didn’t know him at all; he was a complete stranger, I was wishy-washy about jumping into a relationship with him, and I had not been getting uncomfortable or feeling like I would ever need to leave that relationship.
So this is wonderful, right? Many things changed for me when I met “P”, and now I’m walking a new path toward happier, more fulfilling relationships in my future, right? I fear that in an attempt to heal myself from this breakup too quickly, I may in fact go back to my old ways… which generally left me dissatisfied and bored. That will be something for me to keep in mind when I begin dating in the future.
I’m interested in your dating/relationship patterns. How do you meet potential partners? How do you feel this sets the tone of the relationship? Or do you think it has no impact on a relationship?