There are people, places, things (all of the nouns), and moments that define us. We are a product of our life experiences. How we approach life, each other, and ourselves has been shaped by various personal moments in time. If we look very carefully at ourselves, we can almost pinpoint where a specific behavior, interest, or disdain came from. We are forever changing, because while we are living, we are never a finished product. There is always something more to be learned, to be done, to experience… and all of these things mold us into the person we are right at this very moment in time.
I had a defining moment today, one that is so terribly small that it is not even worth mentioning. We all know the old saying “the straw that broke the camel’s back.” I experienced this exact ‘back breaking’ moment, by a figurative piece of straw. It was something small that I was hurt to learn, yet somehow instead of feeling the hurt that I should, I felt nothing. I didn’t feel numb, I didn’t feel angry, I wasn’t sad… I felt nothing. This was the straw; this is what I needed to feel comfortable letting go.
Originally, I was going to write about how there are little emotional land mines in my house, and that no matter how many times I try to get rid of all of them, a new one pops up. Feeling how I do now, this hardly seems relevant.
I know that I a lot of my readers are struggling with situations similar to mine, and as I’m now on my way to being on the other side of this, I feel like I can finally say (with authority), that you will be okay. You will get to a point where the smallest thing is what makes the decision for you to start moving on. It’s unfortunate that it can’t always happen in the time frame you wish that it would, but it will happen; life will be colorful again, and you will suddenly feel like a weight has been lifted from you.