Drinking Games: Poison Edition 

Adjusting to a relationship’s end can be accompanied by an array of feelings that are not so great (bitterness, resentment, anger, jealousy, etc.). Scratch that. Real talk: it’s an emotional roller coaster, and it just plain sucks. Learning to be single again is hard, living without the person you once loved so much can be excruciating, and while some days are easy, there are other days that feel like you are trying to escape a dark, emotional quicksand. You know what I’m talking about: you are feeing down about the breakup, and then suddenly everything else in your life sucks, and you’re now curled up under a wet blanket of unwanted negative feelings. It’s the worst. I try to stay still, to not drown in the quicksand of my own making, but some days it’s just not so easy.

“P” is going on a vacation with his children soon; a vacation that my daughter and I were supposed to be joining them for. I found out today that he is taking a nanny with him to help with his kids. I’ve been trying so hard not to let the vacation thing get to me, but finding out about the nanny just threw me for a loop. It made me so resentful that I was being replaced both in his life, and in some way on that vacation, where I was the person who spent time with all of the kids when he needed (or wanted) to go do something else. Perhaps it’s not so simple and straightforward, but this is how it feels to me…. and I hate that it does. I want to be able to put this aside, and to recognize that he is making choices about his single life, and that I need to remember that we are no longer together. He isn’t trying to hurt me; he’s trying to take care of himself and do the right things for his life. I’d love for the emotional side of my brain to catch up to my logical thoughts!

There’s a saying that I keep thinking of, “Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” I’m trying to keep this in mind today and not allow myself to be overcome by the quicksand, or to drink my own poison. Sometimes things are just damned difficult though…

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7 thoughts on “Drinking Games: Poison Edition 

  1. Emotions are a funny old thing aren’t they? Even when we know they are not realistic and sometimes irrational they are still there gnawing away in the background. Let me know if you figure out a way to mesh the logical and emotional together. You got this babe, just keep swimming just keep swimming…. xx

    Liked by 1 person

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