The Transition Guy


The transition guy: a man who a woman spends time with to help her transition out of a relationship, but whom she would never seriously date. Isn’t this just the perfect situation: a man who understands his place in your life, and the objective of what the two of you are doing. Perhaps a ‘crutch’ is the best way to begin moving forward, or at least figuring out what the hell it is that you want/are doing. If both people understand, and are in agreement, about what both of you are doing… isn’t a transitional person a good thing?

I’m a smart gal. That’s right, I said it. Also, it’s my birthday, so I’m saying as many nice things about myself as I want to today (and am expecting a pass, as, like I said, it’s my birthday). Despite my intelligence, I never thought of a ‘transition guy’ to help me move on from “P” (or at very least help me to figure out how to solve the puzzle with him). The concept (and opportunity) of this sort of fell in my lap this week. A good friend stopped into my office to see me, and as I was discussing (rambling, bemoaning) the ongoing saga of myself and “P”, he suggested that I go on a date. I explained that I didn’t really want to go on a date, because expectations get involved and feelings get hurt, and that I was simply not in a place for that right now. I joked about him fixing me up with one of his friends, to which he offered me the ultimate in transition guys: incredibly good-looking, laid back, successful, not looking for a relationship, but looking to date. While my work BFF and I have always made fun of the fact that this guy is incredibly arrogant, he isn’t someone I’m looking to get into a relationship with. He’s simply there for a purpose.

At any rate, my friend put feelers out to this person (let’s call him TG – transition guy), and he (to my surprise) jumped at the opportunity. I’ve explained that I’ve been struggling with feeling “stuck” in the back and forth dance that I’ve been doing with “P”, and how I was only interested in going on a date (not looking for a relationship). He seems both laid-back, and comfortable with being a TG. I’m both a little nervous, as well as a little excited about all of this — which feels a hell of a lot better than just being sad, anxious, upset, and hurt. Hey, look at me! I’m already reaping the benefit of a TG.

I’m going on a date…. wish me luck!


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