Dear Women, Stop being judgmental twats.

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“How many of you have every felt personally victimized by Regina George?”

How many variations of Regina George have you known in your lifetime? A woman who gossips and rips other women apart for her own personal pleasure. Perhaps you have gone to school with her, worked with her, shared mutual friends with her, or maybe she is even part of your family. We’ve all encountered someone who has a little Regina in her (hell, some of us have encountered many of these women), and at some point been the target of her judgmental, catty nature. These types of women do not disappear as you age, in fact they manage to pop up all over the place as you get older (spoiler alert for my younger readers).

I could write a novel, filled with the many exhausting encounters I’ve had with catty, mean women over the years (I could write a sequel to this novel with stories that my daughter has about her own experiences with mean girls). In my adult life, I’ve been the subject of hurtful gossip (my favorite being that I slept with my boss to get my job, as I’m the youngest person who works in my office), flat out lies/situations twisted to make me seem like a truly terrible person (my husband’s family take the award for this one), judgement on my enjoyment of sex (when you’re a women who enjoys sex, you are automatically a whore), and attacks on my physical appearance (being naturally thin means that a person is anorexic, I guess). I’m only naming a few things that have gotten back to me over the years; I shudder to think of gossip that I’ve not heard about myself. In the past, I had been so hurt by this behavior that I chose to keep anything about myself buried (as best I could); what I should have done is just embrace myself and my choices, and focused on the fact that there is something deeply wrong with how women treat each other.

Ladies, what the hell is going on? Why do so many of us tear other women apart? Why are we unsupportive of each other? Why do we behave as though we are in direct competition with one another? This is bullshit. Women all over the world are at a distinct disadvantage, and are still treated like second-class-citizens. Why are we perpetuating this by fighting amongst ourselves? Every single one of us are in this together. We are not each other’s enemy. Does it really make a woman feel good about herself when she targets another woman’s physical appearance, intellect, social standing, relationship status, fashion choices, or her sexual choices? What does it do for us, as a sex, when we behave this way and treat each other with such utter contempt or scorn? I’ve got news… this does nothing good for us. It leaves us stuck in the past, and doesn’t allow us to move forward where we are viewed as equal and competent to men. All of you out there who do this sort of thing are doing yourselves, and your fellow women a disservice. Cut the shit. Support other women, build them up, seek to understand where they are in their lives, be a good friend, and be a better person.

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