Here comes the pain

pain

Pain, hurt, and sadness: the feelings that fight to avoid. We build up our walls, attempting to keep ourselves from every having to experience feeling unpleasantness. Having to feel even an ounce of hurt will send us running to protect ourselves in a myriad of ways: turning to anger, attempting to escape in denial, buffering these feelings with alcohol, or just plain running away. The cold, hard fact of life is that we are unable to avoid feeling pain, hurt, or sadness. We need to learn to cope with how these feelings, and learn to address them – hopefully emerging as a more whole person, who is able to  manage unpleasant feelings without falling apart. The question is: how? What are the correct, healthy ways to deal with pain and hurt?

I have been making conscious changes to become a person who is more self aware, someone who can be proud of the choices she has made – someone who does not stand in her own way, and someone who does not rob herself of her own happiness. While I can report that I have been doing a hell of a job, I have been drowning in sadness this past weekend. I tried to run away from feeling this way, but there is no place where I can go that will allow me to escape how I feel inside.

This weekend was the anniversary of my anniversary with my ex. I didn’t think it would bother me as much as it did, a point which frustrates me and makes me feel embarrassed. I’m unable to change what happened between us, and what led us to the place we are now. Focusing on this point doesn’t help the sadness I feel, and I’m unsure that there is any way to not feel the way I do. I suppose that I need to just move through this pain, and perhaps I’ve only been avoiding feeling this way – which is why I’ve kept my ex in my life all this time. I wish I had done this, gone through this sooner. I’m not sure it would have been any easier, but at least I would have been past everything, and not having my mind flooded with memories that make me so deeply sad. It’s embarrassing that he has already moved on, moved past these feelings, and I’m still stuck here. I know that I won’t be feeling this way forever, but going through this while he is indifferent to all of it, just feels miserable.

How have you moved through sadness or hurt?  How have you dealt with the pain of things like this? Is there some sort of magic key to getting there quickly?

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4 thoughts on “Here comes the pain

  1. It’s always harder for the person left behind. I wish there was a magic pill or formula to get over the hurt quicker but you will, unfortunately it is never as fast enough as we wish. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can relate to the pain and hurt you described in this post. It’s understandable that you still miss your last relationship. Your feelings are connected to the attachment you had with your ex. I hope that makes sense. Anyways, the best way to keep your mind off of those feelings is to keep yourself busy. Also, remind yourself that someone better will come a long and erase all the pain you felt from past relationships.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello!!!! I’m doing well, just have been super busy and sort of fell off of posting. You’re so sweet to check in with me! I hope that YOU are doing well, and that you enjoyed the holidays and New Year! Talk soon! Xoxo

      Like

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